A Virtual Merry Christmas to all!

Hello and Merry Christmas from the Dampiers! With two little boys in our household not a day goes by that we don’t spend talking about some random Super Hero. After some time I came to the realization that we, as a family actually do have Super Powers or at least Super Senses. While we aren’t rushing out to buy matching leotards (you can thank me later) I think that the Justice League could perhaps make use of our skills. I plan to submit the resume listed below. I think we may have a shot!

Have a wonderful holiday and we look forward to seeing and/or hearing from you in the New Year!

Also please enjoy the enclosed photo that has nothing to do with Christmas or Super Heroes. It is perhaps proof the Christmas mania has set in. J

The not-very-dangerous-only-available-before- 7pm-bedtime crime fighting super hero family,

The Dampiers

The Dampiers

Peter, Misty, Grant and Henry

Objective

• World domination or successfully getting through potty training before Henry goes to college

Parental Super Skills

• The sound of a faucet not turned off 3 rooms away
  
• Or the ability to judge the disaster in the other room by the intonation of "uh-oh"
  
• mmmMastery in sniffing out a potty accident from up to 15 feet away
  
• Proficient in functioning on 2.5 hours of sleep on a single whiff of caffeine
  
• Supersonic hearing coupled with parental intuition demonstrated by being able to identify the sound of a faucet left running 3 rooms away
  
• Can expertly judge the severity of disaster in the next room by the intonation and inflection of the word “uh-oh”
  
• Possesses the ability to administer “mind-eraser” powers to preschoolers by simply asking “What did you do at school today?”
  
• Extensive experience in withstanding torture as demonstrated by enduring countless trips through “It’s a Small World” ride while on family Disneyland vacation.

Kid Super Skills

• The ability to hone in on a parent's unique kryptonite for personal gain with any of the following but not limited to: whining, repetitive mom, mom.. mom.. mom.. mom, puppy dog eyes
  
• Resistance to learning manners or sharing coupled with instant absorption of a dirty word
  
• Time warping mastery that includes making a 10 minute lego clean-up job take 2 hours or alternately whipping through an activity in 5 minutes that was planned for the entire afternoon
  
• Superior negotiation skills demonstrated by easily conning grandparents into ice cream every night while on Alaskan Cruise.
  
• The ability to melt the hearts and charm the socks off parents, with a single, unexpected “I love you” and hug.

Equipment

• Family possesses minivan enabling them to remedy a natural disaster, feed the hungry, and placate rowdy kids with a movie all from the confines of the vehicle. Also, can carpool (batmobile and invisible jet – FAIL).

Happy Birthday Henry Doodle. :)

My baby is 3.  I can’t quite believe that 3 years ago we were blessed with another baby so completely opposite to his brother that it felt like we were parental newbies again.  They seem to be polar opposites in temperaments, physical stature, personality and about anything else.  We thought we had this parenting gig down pat and it turns out we were back at square one.  The only useful skills we could carry over were.. put them to sleep on their back.. and which way the diapers went on.  Grant from day 1 has always been super independent.  Hugs and affections were ok if you hurried up about it –linger for more than 2 seconds and he pushes you away.. still.  Henry is the opposite – he’ll sit quite happily in my lap, cheek to cheek, forever.  There was a time when Henry kept coming up to me and whining at my feet with his arm outstretched.  It honestly took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that he wanted to be carried.. not to get at something higher..just to be carried.  To this day Grant has never asked to be carried, ever.  Henry could happily live out his life as a baby kangaroo. 

I think every parent worries they’ll compare their second born to their first (like I just did, twice) constantly which will lead to a life in therapy as an adult.  Of course you do.. you have no other little being that you know so well.  But our comparisons aren’t if they measure up only that we’re constantly boggled by how different they are. 

You also worry that when the second child comes along that they will repeatedly feel ripped off.  It’s true that I haven’t enrolled Henry in hardly ANY of the classes that Grant used to take, because logistically it’s sometimes a nightmare.  We spend a lot more time at home and the boys really do get along well.  Henry is gaining useful skills at home that no gym or music class could teach so well, like sharing with a brother and when to tell mom things and when to keep it between brothers.  Last week Grant overflowed the toilet (I dunno what that kid DOES in there) but as Grant went about washing his hands and making faces in the mirror -he was completely oblivious to the toilet running all over the floor.  Henry on the other hand came running out and was in such a frenzy I had no idea what he was saying.  Finally he just kept saying.. “Get UP… COME ON… I SHOW YOU”.  As I followed him down the hallway I saw his little socks making wet tracks and hurried my pace to find the entire bathroom flooded and grant on the step stool still making face at himself in the mirror.  It was like having a slightly more useful version of Lassie! 

You may think a second child would feel left out or overshadowed by an older sibling..no need to worry with Henry.  The kid will NOT be ignored.  It’s not enough to acknowledge things he’s saying with an “MM-HMM”.. EVER – even when appropriate.  You answer his question with that and he shoots back with “DON’T SAY MM-HMM LIKE THAT – YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME!!”  “WHAT THIS UH-HUH? DON’T SAY UH-HUH.. YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME!!” 

He is a character and a cut-up and finds his older brother the most hilarious person in the universe.  He’s got eyelashes that are ridiculously long and the biggest brown eyes that can either turn on the charm or turn to a scowl that would stop you in your tracks.  I can’t wait to see what the years will bring us with this fun little guy.  Happy Birthday my little 3 yr old.

love,

mum

don’t ask, don’t tell.. preschool style.

I think most parents are in agreement that anytime you ask your kid what they did at school that the standard answer is usually “nothing” or “I dunno, stuff”.  So occasionally when Grant is feeling super chatty about his day I pounce with lots of follow up questions so I can get a glimpse of what his day was like and what he’s thinking about.

Today at school pick up he was chattering about some book they read at school that was SO funny about some big fat chicken.  And it was a fairytale.. like the princess and the pea and goldilocks and stuff. 

So I immediately thought.. chicken? oh.. perhaps Chicken Little or Chicken Licken.  I asked if it was about the chicken thinking that the sky was falling and he responded with “No.. it was about a .. chicken. and he was really fat.. and the straw or hay or something”.  Oh! got it! right!  Obviously it was the Little Red Hen who tried to get everyone to help her grow, harvest and bake the bread with no luck and then everyone wants to eat the fruits of her labor(sounds like my life btw).  So certain this was the fairytale Grant was speaking of I started explaining the Little Red Hen story and he stopped me.  “No..it was.. about a big fat chicken.. and I think he was eatin’ tacos”.  I thought surely I heard him wrong but no he continued that the tacos were made of straw or hay.  Now, I was completely stumped.

I got home and did some internet searches in the event that it was some modern day fairytale I didn’t know about.. and only came up with a thousand different recipes for chicken tacos.  So I then emailed a classmate’s mom asking if she’d find out about this Obese, Straw Taco Loving, Chicken story.  She went to work and mailed me back this:

Well I asked him and this is what I got.  "Chicken, there wasn’t no chicken." "Not at my school" "Duh"...verbatim...they are both out to make us nuts!!! And when I tried to explain about book and all, he said "Is this gonna take long 'cause i gotta tinkle"

I found another classmate’s mom on facebook that night and asked her.  Her son was still up and his response was this “he's singing something about baking bread and about a cat, a goose, and a hen?????”

So.. back to where we started.. with the little red hen.. the moral of this fairytale is when I get an answer don’t go digging for it’s meaning because after hours of research it still won’t be clear .. and that only leaves you confused and hungry for chicken tacos.  Take THAT Mother Goose.

-misty

sibling manipulation…FAIL.

Today Grant had to go to the Dr. to pee in a cup for the first time ever.  Of course he refused.  No amount of pleading or stickers convinced him that this was an OK thing to do.  The Dr. sent us home with 2 stickers and the cup to try and collect it at home.  On the way out the door Grant felt his presence at the Dr’s office warranted his 2 stickers and started whining and being obstinate.  I’m trying a new tactic for these tantrums that I can see coming.  Grant is one that will try to engage you in an argument for hours.. repeating the same thing over and over and over.  He also thinks he can negotiate everything.  Neither of these tactics on his part has ever worked so I’m not sure why he’s still trying.  After reading this 1-2-3 magic book though, I’ve realized that he’s just constantly trying to get us to argue with him.  I’ve stopped taking the bait.  So today we got to the car and I told him to fasten his seat belt and he told me that he wanted the 2 reward stickers (for weeing in the cup- that he didn’t do) before he would buckle himself in.  So I sat there and explained that he wasn’t going to get them..and that I would no longer be telling him WHY as I was telling him this NOW and we weren’t leaving the parking lot until he was in his seat belt. 

So I sat there checking email on my phone and ignoring him.. while he screamed “I. WANT. MY. STICKER. RIGHT. NOWW!!!!” Which on it’s own is incredibly awesome in the pediatrician’s parking lot with every parent walking bye casting judgey judy looks at your child spewing horrible demands.  All the while Henry was looking on.. either horrified.. or observing what worked and what didn’t.  After awhile Grant calmed down and I thought we’d be off in no time.  When I heard the following conversation:

Grant: Henry.. Henry.. tell mommy you want the Spiderman sticker.. but DON’T say it’s for me.. just say “I want the Spiderman sticker”

Henry: Ok.. Mommy, Grant want-

Grant: NOOOO NO HENRY.. don’t say I want it.. say you want to have it.. just say “I want the Spiderman sticker.. "

Henry: “Grant want the Spiderman sti-"

Grant: Noooooo HENRY NO .. don’t say my name.. MOMMY, HENRY HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.. (quietly) henry.. don’t say my name.

Henry:…..  …. “him want the spi-“

Grant: NOOOOO..HENRY DO NOT SAY MY NAME!!

All the while Henry was just NOT getting what it was that Grant wanted and kept looking at him like he was crazy as he was doing EXACTLY what he asked. 

So it seems we’ve already entered into the stage where your kid thinks you’re a complete dumbass.  I really thought that started in high school when they think we don’t know they’re planning on how to get to unchaperoned parties.  I don’t know how he thought I couldn’t HEAR the entire conversation and what he was doing. 

Exasperated and annoyed he finally relented and I heard a very quiet “click” from behind me.  I was glad my sweet little polite boy had returned when he yelled out  “WHY AREN’T WE GOING ANYWHERE???!?!?”

always a work in progress…

oh. and he DID pee in the cup at home.. and then every time after that he needed to go he wanted to be going in the cup.  I’m not going to be trusting any cups lying around for awhile. 

-misty

half a decade ago..

I gave birth to a bright and smiley little boy that stole my heart from the moment I saw him.  It’s been a crazy whirlwind that has completely flown by. 

He was an easy baby that was very independent from the moment he arrived.  He has always been this ball of sunshine and I didn’t realize it was any different to any other baby until people asked me every time we were out “Is he always this happy?” 

Grant’s a very caring little guy that has seemed to grasp empathy and caring for others at really early age.  He is emotional, like me.. strong willed and stubborn.. like both of his parents.  He has incredible recall for minute details that happened years ago.  But mostly he is a great little guy that you can’t help being happy around – unless he’s having one of his little screaming fits we’ve been dealing with lately..  then.. wow.. earplugs. 

Today was a big day.  It was Grant’s birthday.. or beerthday as he still calls it (I’m sure he’ll pick this back up in college).  It was also his first day of pre-k school.  After school I picked up his best friend Garret to come over for a playdate and then we took them all out to Red Robin for Grant’s birthday dinner.  I’m reminded now of why we will ALWAYS have birthday parties somewhere else.  The boys had a grand time.  It’s so funny hearing him interact with his little friends in different social situations.  We got to RR and Grant immediately introduced “my friend Garrett who is gonna eat with us for my beerthday” to the host.  The boys were quite squirelly all through dinner but we kind of let them be a little crazy.  We were tucked in a corner with only a few other families in earshot. 

My favorite conversation that had me in stitches was between Grant and Garrett.  Grant was asking Garrett “Remember that time when I did blah blah blah.. and I got the Skittles?”  Grant’s speech is coming along but he does sound like he’s saying “Squittles”.  Somehow Garrett heard this a little wrong.. and had a lot of questions about this incident.. repeating back.. “You got the Shittles?  When did you get the Shittles?  I didn’t get Shittles did I?  Where did you get the Shittles?”  After nearly shooting my drink through my nose I turned my head.. and laughed until I was crying.. occasionally snorting throughout dinner remembering it.  It’s still cracking me up as I write this. 

Before we left the Red Robin crew did the Happy Birthday song and dance for Grant and actually brought out little tiny sundaes for Garrett and Henry as well.  I was trying to get them not to eat as much because I knew we had cake and ice cream at home.  Peter thought he’d help Henry along by taking a bite and Henry bit his head off and sneered at him “NO! It’s not YOUR birthday”.. which.. is amusing considering it wasn’t Henry’s either. 

Oh.. and this year Grant requested a beerthday cake that looked like a bag of popcorn.  The problem with being arty is that your kids now think you can create or make anything.  The problem with loving this stuff and your kids is that you will move mountains and lose countless hours of sleep to do it.  Here’s the cake.. and really it only took a few hours.  

Happy Beerthday my little 5 year old.  May the years to come bring as much laughter and joy as you have brought to us.. and not so much in the Shittles dept.

 

love,

mum

xoxo

Potty training Henry – Day 1

My method to potty training is to select a week in the summer when the forecast is good for a week (perhaps the biggest obstacle yet).  I strip the child-in-training down to nothing from the waist down and we do outdoor activities on the deck for a week and a half with the potty right beside us.  This also includes endless amounts of juice and what I have always promised - Hershey’s kisses (1 kiss for wee’s, 2 kisses for #2’s).  For his job as the cheerleader Grant also gets a Hershey’s kiss when Henry does. 

Today was day one with Henry.  At first Henry wouldn’t get OFF the potty unless he had undies to walk around in.  Once those were provided he and Grant got to work on finger painting.  Juice boxes flowed like wine.  About 20 minutes into it Henry was alarmed that he wet his Diego underpants so I sat him on the potty.

About 15 minutes later Grant wanted to see how progress was going and screeched the news that Henry had indeed gone in the potty.

We made a big deal and I awarded Henry and Grant with their chocolates.  I went and emptied the potty and Henry decided he liked his place at the throne… in less than 5 minutes he’d gone again.  Cheering all around ensued and the whole process was repeated.  I now was in the process of making their dinner as well and came around the corner to hear Grant saying.. “Henry.. do you need to go again?.. no? .. just move and let me try to go wee in there and we can get another chocolate”.  That kid is SO sneaky. 

I also seem to have opened the flood gates with Henry as he’s gone for the 4th time in the hour and right now I can hear Grant asking every 10 seconds if he has to go again. 

-misty

E is for Entrapment…

The past few weeks we’ve had my in-laws staying with us.  They don’t drive so we’ve had to configure the van so that Henry is in the second row and for ease of getting in and out we’ve put down the other 2nd row seat so the 2 In-laws and Grant are in the 3rd row. 

On one of our excursions out Henry had 2 crayons and a bit of paper he was coloring with and Grant decided later that he needed a turn.  Fast forward to a few hours later and the following conversation ensued.

Grant:  “Henry.. Henry.. blaojeiojfieow?”

Me: What Grant?

Grant: "No Mommy, I’m talking to HENRY.. not you”

Me:  “Geez, alright"

Grant: “Henry?”

Henry: “uh-huh!”

(I should at this point note that Henry will happily answer an affirmative “uh-HUH!” to any question asked excitedly.)

Grant: “Henry.  Did you color on the wall back here by my seat!?”

Henry:  “uh-HUH!” :)

Grant: “MOOOOOMMMMM.  Henry got crayon on the wall back here by my seat”

Me:  “Uh, Grant? Henry has never even been BACK near your seat.”

Grant: “He just said he did it”

Me: “Grant.  Henry has not been in that back seat.. do we need to have that talk about lying again?”

Grant: “But Henry said he did it!”

Me: “Grant!”

Grant: “Oh.  Yes.  I think that was a mistake.  I think it was maybe Mr. Nobody that did it.. I think he was back here.”

Obviously we need to revisit the lesson on lying but when do they get so cunning?

iPoot.

Peter got an iPad this last week (I still don’t GET why we needed one but a “boy and his toys” is a whole separate blog post). He’s quite late on the iPad acquisition and we’ve had a running joke since it’s come out about “takin’ it to the iPad”. On one of the Entertainment gossip shows in the evening one of the commentators was obviously comp’d an iPad and at LEAST once a segment he says “let’s take it to the iPad” where he does nothing but slide a photo around and point to famous people. Henry has obviously picked up on some of this and applied it to his world. I now hear him daily talking about “iPoot” and it’s usually followed by a familiar nauseating scent. But have no worries.. there’s an “app” for that.. it’s called a diaper. Peter seems less happy about “Takin’ it to the iPoot”.

TP Tuesdays

For the past couple of weeks Grant has been yelling out from the bathroom that he can “only wipe my own bum on Tuesdays”.  I thought it was just some weird regression and told him he needed to do it every time, no matter what day.  Today he extended the offer to Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  When I told him he was in luck because today was Tuesday he responded “Oh.  Well then today I can wipe my bum" as if it were the most normal thing in the world.  I don’t even want to know the horrors that are going on back there on a daily basis.  And I don’t know what it has to do with the other days of the week.

rootin’ tootin’ time

So I don’t think Grant GETS what happens with gas.  He walks around ripping farts (we call them toots) all over the place and has no reaction to them other than acting slightly annoyed when I ask him to say “excuse me”.  Whatev. I assume all the fart jokes will come as soon as he’s in school right?  For now I just don’t really laugh or react and just ask him to say excuse me.  It occurred to me that he really had no idea what was going on when he let one rip the other day.  Grant was in the living room and Henry was in the kitchen.  Grant then came into the kitchen with a look of disgust on his face and told me I needed to change Henry’s diaper because he could smell it.  Henry sat there innocently eating while being falsely accused.  No amount of explaining could convince Grant that something that wretched could have come from HIS bottom.  This may be a lesson his dad has to teach him.  I’m not volunteering. 

-misty

On Doobies & Boobies….

This post so isn’t going where you think..

So about a year or so ago Grant had an imaginary friend “Doobie”.  I have no idea where he got this name.  The only information we got about Doobie was that he lived on Mountain Lilypad and that his mom’s name was Doobie and his dad’s name was Doobie and that he was Grant’s best friend.  I got asked to schedule playdates with Doobie and when I explained that I didn’t know where Doobie lived Grant would tell me “on Mountain Lilypad”.  Then I’d tell him but I don’t know his mom and I’d get “his mom is named Doobie” and I’d try explaining yes but I don’t know where to find them.. “on mountain lilypad” (you get the picture).  I realized yesterday that I hadn’t heard Grant mention Doobie in like 6 months so I thought I’d ask him about his old friend.  He told me “Oh.  He died”  Apparently the cause of death was from eating too many bubbles in the bath.  This morning I asked again about Doobie, wondering if we were going to have “what dying means” conversation.  After I told him that when things die they can’t come back he decided he was just joking about Doobie dying.. but he did get really sick and have a tummy ache from eating too many bubbles.  So.. have no fear.. Doobie lives.

On Saturday after Henry’s nap I picked him up and he was pointing to his monkey picture above his crib saying “Kiki”.  I did this series of paintings for Henry’s room and they’ve been there since he was born.  His crib sits in the center of them below the Turtle and Giraffe.

So after realizing he was trying to say Monkey we practiced it for a little bit and then I moved on to having him name the other animals…

"Tur-toe”

“Jaff”

“Boobies”

Wait? what!?  He looked at me.. patted my chest and said “Boobies” again and pointed back to the Hippo.  And really?  from the angle in which he sleeps.. I can totally see that now.  But it was a shocker to hear him say it.  And of course THAT word came out crystal clear.  I’m sure preschool teachers get an earful of things they don’t let on about. 

-misty 

maybe there’s something to all those harry potter comments we keep getting…

Yesterday we were at an appointment with Grant and they had a whiteboard out for kids to draw on.  I didn’t realize Grant had never drawn on one before and he had completely filled the board up with what he calls “train tracks” or “roller coasters” (a load of scribbles).  The doctor then asked Grant if he could draw a square and “I Can’t Grant” paid a visit and somewhere in between exclaiming “I can’t” his fingers swiped over his drawings and erased them.  Grant looked at the board and then his fingers with no real reside and got completely wide eyed and yelled “MY FINGERS ARE MAGIC!!!!!” and from then on couldn’t understand why were weren’t jumping up and down and praising his magic skillz instead of asking him to draw a stupid square.  I wish he’d use those magic fingers to clean up his room. 

-misty

a rose by any other name…

So lately I've been talking to Grant about not trying hard enough at things and giving up before he’d tried.  I told him that when he did that I'd be calling him "I Can't Grant" or "Grant I Can't" to remind him to try.  Today he gave up on something without trying and I said “Do we need to start calling you "I Can't Grant" ?”  without missing a beat he said “No, probably “Sometimes I Can’t Grant”. 

-misty

tech "toys" have arrived & my weird kid...

So we finally gave in and gave Grant his own computer. I realized after catching him "makin straight" all my desktop icons that we would be safer just getting him his own computer he could browse pbskids.org and a couple other kid's sites that he likes. It's incredible how proficient he is on it though. He can navigate through pages without being able to read, knows how to back out if he gets to a page that he's unfamiliar with and all sorts of other trouble.

Over Christmas Grant also was shown the way of the Wii, Xbox, and Nintendo DS. Since then it's been "bye-bye educational leapster games and hello fun" for him. He's only JUST stopped asking to play my Nintendo every day. I was actually pretty amazed in watching him play my Nintendo DS on the plane on the flight back. Again, watching him just intuitively know how to navigate around a little game was really surprising. The only time he'd get stuck was when text would come up on the screen telling him what to do. So a couple of weekends ago Peter was walking around Costco with Grant and Grant asked him if we could get "Super Mario for 4 players for the Wii" and Peter somehow told him we'd hook up an old Super Nintendo System we had lying around in the garage. In Grant's head this meant we were getting "Super Mario for 4 players for the Wii" AND that he was going to get to have it in his room. How Peter didn't make that more clear I have no idea. The next week I had to keep telling him it WASN'T a Wii and it CERTAINLY wasn't going to set up in his room so he could play it "every, every day, all day". Thanks Pete! Fast forward to getting the SNES set up and finding we actually DIDN'T have Super Mario Bros. So we ended up finding some trial Lego Batman game on Xbox live. He's been playing around with that in the evenings.

These two new developments have Henry all crazy jealous and wanting to partipate. We took one of the batteries out of an xbox controller and handed it to him so he could feel like he was playing. This did not fool him in ANY way. He first noticed that his light on the controller didn't work and then spent the next 15 minutes really trying to be clear on what it was he wanted. He pointed to the back panel where the batteries go and when Peter could finally play dumb no longer and opened it he tried pointing to the empty space, then the actual battery, then the empty space, then turning it over to where the light is. All explained with his little Henry words. A person who had never spoken English would have understood what he was talking about - he was getting REALLY annoyed with our ignorance.

This is totally unrelated but Peter really wanted me to post it because it was classic Grant and just so weird. We were coming home from the gym tonight and Grant saw a dog and then said something about Hank. Hank is the new puppy that my brother's family got over Christmas. He's a bassett hound. Super cute. So I asked Grant what he'd said and he told me "I was talking to Hank over Christmas.. we was talkin and he told me the thought he wanted a Snuggie.. but i thought he would maybe poop in it". ! uh.. ok Grant. So then I asked if Bubba (the older dog) had said anything to him and said "Nooo" in a way that suggested I was an idiot for assuming a dog could talk. My kids are so weird.