don’t ask, don’t tell.. preschool style.

I think most parents are in agreement that anytime you ask your kid what they did at school that the standard answer is usually “nothing” or “I dunno, stuff”.  So occasionally when Grant is feeling super chatty about his day I pounce with lots of follow up questions so I can get a glimpse of what his day was like and what he’s thinking about.

Today at school pick up he was chattering about some book they read at school that was SO funny about some big fat chicken.  And it was a fairytale.. like the princess and the pea and goldilocks and stuff. 

So I immediately thought.. chicken? oh.. perhaps Chicken Little or Chicken Licken.  I asked if it was about the chicken thinking that the sky was falling and he responded with “No.. it was about a .. chicken. and he was really fat.. and the straw or hay or something”.  Oh! got it! right!  Obviously it was the Little Red Hen who tried to get everyone to help her grow, harvest and bake the bread with no luck and then everyone wants to eat the fruits of her labor(sounds like my life btw).  So certain this was the fairytale Grant was speaking of I started explaining the Little Red Hen story and he stopped me.  “No..it was.. about a big fat chicken.. and I think he was eatin’ tacos”.  I thought surely I heard him wrong but no he continued that the tacos were made of straw or hay.  Now, I was completely stumped.

I got home and did some internet searches in the event that it was some modern day fairytale I didn’t know about.. and only came up with a thousand different recipes for chicken tacos.  So I then emailed a classmate’s mom asking if she’d find out about this Obese, Straw Taco Loving, Chicken story.  She went to work and mailed me back this:

Well I asked him and this is what I got.  "Chicken, there wasn’t no chicken." "Not at my school" "Duh"...verbatim...they are both out to make us nuts!!! And when I tried to explain about book and all, he said "Is this gonna take long 'cause i gotta tinkle"

I found another classmate’s mom on facebook that night and asked her.  Her son was still up and his response was this “he's singing something about baking bread and about a cat, a goose, and a hen?????”

So.. back to where we started.. with the little red hen.. the moral of this fairytale is when I get an answer don’t go digging for it’s meaning because after hours of research it still won’t be clear .. and that only leaves you confused and hungry for chicken tacos.  Take THAT Mother Goose.

-misty

sibling manipulation…FAIL.

Today Grant had to go to the Dr. to pee in a cup for the first time ever.  Of course he refused.  No amount of pleading or stickers convinced him that this was an OK thing to do.  The Dr. sent us home with 2 stickers and the cup to try and collect it at home.  On the way out the door Grant felt his presence at the Dr’s office warranted his 2 stickers and started whining and being obstinate.  I’m trying a new tactic for these tantrums that I can see coming.  Grant is one that will try to engage you in an argument for hours.. repeating the same thing over and over and over.  He also thinks he can negotiate everything.  Neither of these tactics on his part has ever worked so I’m not sure why he’s still trying.  After reading this 1-2-3 magic book though, I’ve realized that he’s just constantly trying to get us to argue with him.  I’ve stopped taking the bait.  So today we got to the car and I told him to fasten his seat belt and he told me that he wanted the 2 reward stickers (for weeing in the cup- that he didn’t do) before he would buckle himself in.  So I sat there and explained that he wasn’t going to get them..and that I would no longer be telling him WHY as I was telling him this NOW and we weren’t leaving the parking lot until he was in his seat belt. 

So I sat there checking email on my phone and ignoring him.. while he screamed “I. WANT. MY. STICKER. RIGHT. NOWW!!!!” Which on it’s own is incredibly awesome in the pediatrician’s parking lot with every parent walking bye casting judgey judy looks at your child spewing horrible demands.  All the while Henry was looking on.. either horrified.. or observing what worked and what didn’t.  After awhile Grant calmed down and I thought we’d be off in no time.  When I heard the following conversation:

Grant: Henry.. Henry.. tell mommy you want the Spiderman sticker.. but DON’T say it’s for me.. just say “I want the Spiderman sticker”

Henry: Ok.. Mommy, Grant want-

Grant: NOOOO NO HENRY.. don’t say I want it.. say you want to have it.. just say “I want the Spiderman sticker.. "

Henry: “Grant want the Spiderman sti-"

Grant: Noooooo HENRY NO .. don’t say my name.. MOMMY, HENRY HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.. (quietly) henry.. don’t say my name.

Henry:…..  …. “him want the spi-“

Grant: NOOOOO..HENRY DO NOT SAY MY NAME!!

All the while Henry was just NOT getting what it was that Grant wanted and kept looking at him like he was crazy as he was doing EXACTLY what he asked. 

So it seems we’ve already entered into the stage where your kid thinks you’re a complete dumbass.  I really thought that started in high school when they think we don’t know they’re planning on how to get to unchaperoned parties.  I don’t know how he thought I couldn’t HEAR the entire conversation and what he was doing. 

Exasperated and annoyed he finally relented and I heard a very quiet “click” from behind me.  I was glad my sweet little polite boy had returned when he yelled out  “WHY AREN’T WE GOING ANYWHERE???!?!?”

always a work in progress…

oh. and he DID pee in the cup at home.. and then every time after that he needed to go he wanted to be going in the cup.  I’m not going to be trusting any cups lying around for awhile. 

-misty

half a decade ago..

I gave birth to a bright and smiley little boy that stole my heart from the moment I saw him.  It’s been a crazy whirlwind that has completely flown by. 

He was an easy baby that was very independent from the moment he arrived.  He has always been this ball of sunshine and I didn’t realize it was any different to any other baby until people asked me every time we were out “Is he always this happy?” 

Grant’s a very caring little guy that has seemed to grasp empathy and caring for others at really early age.  He is emotional, like me.. strong willed and stubborn.. like both of his parents.  He has incredible recall for minute details that happened years ago.  But mostly he is a great little guy that you can’t help being happy around – unless he’s having one of his little screaming fits we’ve been dealing with lately..  then.. wow.. earplugs. 

Today was a big day.  It was Grant’s birthday.. or beerthday as he still calls it (I’m sure he’ll pick this back up in college).  It was also his first day of pre-k school.  After school I picked up his best friend Garret to come over for a playdate and then we took them all out to Red Robin for Grant’s birthday dinner.  I’m reminded now of why we will ALWAYS have birthday parties somewhere else.  The boys had a grand time.  It’s so funny hearing him interact with his little friends in different social situations.  We got to RR and Grant immediately introduced “my friend Garrett who is gonna eat with us for my beerthday” to the host.  The boys were quite squirelly all through dinner but we kind of let them be a little crazy.  We were tucked in a corner with only a few other families in earshot. 

My favorite conversation that had me in stitches was between Grant and Garrett.  Grant was asking Garrett “Remember that time when I did blah blah blah.. and I got the Skittles?”  Grant’s speech is coming along but he does sound like he’s saying “Squittles”.  Somehow Garrett heard this a little wrong.. and had a lot of questions about this incident.. repeating back.. “You got the Shittles?  When did you get the Shittles?  I didn’t get Shittles did I?  Where did you get the Shittles?”  After nearly shooting my drink through my nose I turned my head.. and laughed until I was crying.. occasionally snorting throughout dinner remembering it.  It’s still cracking me up as I write this. 

Before we left the Red Robin crew did the Happy Birthday song and dance for Grant and actually brought out little tiny sundaes for Garrett and Henry as well.  I was trying to get them not to eat as much because I knew we had cake and ice cream at home.  Peter thought he’d help Henry along by taking a bite and Henry bit his head off and sneered at him “NO! It’s not YOUR birthday”.. which.. is amusing considering it wasn’t Henry’s either. 

Oh.. and this year Grant requested a beerthday cake that looked like a bag of popcorn.  The problem with being arty is that your kids now think you can create or make anything.  The problem with loving this stuff and your kids is that you will move mountains and lose countless hours of sleep to do it.  Here’s the cake.. and really it only took a few hours.  

Happy Beerthday my little 5 year old.  May the years to come bring as much laughter and joy as you have brought to us.. and not so much in the Shittles dept.

 

love,

mum

xoxo