My baby is 3. I can’t quite believe that 3 years ago we were blessed with another baby so completely opposite to his brother that it felt like we were parental newbies again. They seem to be polar opposites in temperaments, physical stature, personality and about anything else. We thought we had this parenting gig down pat and it turns out we were back at square one. The only useful skills we could carry over were.. put them to sleep on their back.. and which way the diapers went on. Grant from day 1 has always been super independent. Hugs and affections were ok if you hurried up about it –linger for more than 2 seconds and he pushes you away.. still. Henry is the opposite – he’ll sit quite happily in my lap, cheek to cheek, forever. There was a time when Henry kept coming up to me and whining at my feet with his arm outstretched. It honestly took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that he wanted to be carried.. not to get at something higher..just to be carried. To this day Grant has never asked to be carried, ever. Henry could happily live out his life as a baby kangaroo.
I think every parent worries they’ll compare their second born to their first (like I just did, twice) constantly which will lead to a life in therapy as an adult. Of course you do.. you have no other little being that you know so well. But our comparisons aren’t if they measure up only that we’re constantly boggled by how different they are.
You also worry that when the second child comes along that they will repeatedly feel ripped off. It’s true that I haven’t enrolled Henry in hardly ANY of the classes that Grant used to take, because logistically it’s sometimes a nightmare. We spend a lot more time at home and the boys really do get along well. Henry is gaining useful skills at home that no gym or music class could teach so well, like sharing with a brother and when to tell mom things and when to keep it between brothers. Last week Grant overflowed the toilet (I dunno what that kid DOES in there) but as Grant went about washing his hands and making faces in the mirror -he was completely oblivious to the toilet running all over the floor. Henry on the other hand came running out and was in such a frenzy I had no idea what he was saying. Finally he just kept saying.. “Get UP… COME ON… I SHOW YOU”. As I followed him down the hallway I saw his little socks making wet tracks and hurried my pace to find the entire bathroom flooded and grant on the step stool still making face at himself in the mirror. It was like having a slightly more useful version of Lassie!
You may think a second child would feel left out or overshadowed by an older sibling..no need to worry with Henry. The kid will NOT be ignored. It’s not enough to acknowledge things he’s saying with an “MM-HMM”.. EVER – even when appropriate. You answer his question with that and he shoots back with “DON’T SAY MM-HMM LIKE THAT – YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME!!” “WHAT THIS UH-HUH? DON’T SAY UH-HUH.. YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME!!”
He is a character and a cut-up and finds his older brother the most hilarious person in the universe. He’s got eyelashes that are ridiculously long and the biggest brown eyes that can either turn on the charm or turn to a scowl that would stop you in your tracks. I can’t wait to see what the years will bring us with this fun little guy. Happy Birthday my little 3 yr old.
love,
mum
